A surprise shock day

Bonsoir everyone! I thought I'd share with you long-starved readers my afternoon's visit to Parliament.

We begin by meeting John Baron, MP for Billericay, in Portcullis House - nothing unusual there, since everything was pre-arranged. Adam and Ayesha half-moaning at me, as we've no profound questions to ask the bloody man. To worsen this bleak outlook, Ayesha informs me that she's done the tour, she's met countless MPs, she's grilled the bastards a hundred times. Great: this visit's gonna be a right hair-raiser.

First glimpse of interest: we see Tom Bradby leaving, ITV's political editor. Adam gets interested. Second glimmer of hope (after waiting for Baron to meet us at reception): Simon Hughes, mediocre-Lib-Dem-homosexual-extraordinaire MP, strolls past (as you do). At this point a brainwave strikes Ayesha: why don't we go MP-spotting?

We have a power-yomp / boot march around the Commons by Baron (the man's a giant). Glimpse Ming having a cup of cha; look utterly lost in an RNIB conference in tandem with the sodding Post Office of all bodies. Have a superb cup of coffee - but without Baron. Hmm - quite the visit this is turning out to be. The highpoint of this being, in true bumbling Walters style, David Bunklett manages to walk into me - literally. Things, as usual, seem to be taking their normal course of events: Walters makes a gaffe, everyone has a laugh - but at least it's enjoyable.

Go for another cup of coffee, only this time on the Members' terrace overlooking the Thames. This is more like it. Events then take a slight turn for the worst, however:

Baron: "So, what questions do you have for me?"
Us: "Errrrrr....." (awkward smiles)
Baron : "Ah, right, ok then - why don't I start by telling you a bit about what I do?"

Fabulous. A rendition of his glorious exploits as a politician.

Despite this initial gloomy outlook however, the table talk goes quite smoothly: being taken aback when I challenge him on his grasp of French politics, and impressed by Adam's seemingly-encyclopaedic knowledge of recent political events, Baron turns out to be an interesting Tory - and I bet you didn't think such people existed. Baron then proposes to drop us off by the Strangers' Gallery to watch a debate: I wonder what's on?

Six MPs in the entire chamber. Motion: the Norfolk Broads. Sorry? The Norfolk Bloody Broads. Need I say more?

After a comical quarter of an hour listening to a fusty Tory banging on about the cultural invaluable importance of the area, (bollocks - where are they, anyway??) we decide enough is enough. Evacuate pronto.

Strolling along Millbank, who do we then spot on our pavement having a chin wag? Charles Clarke. Former Home Secretary Charle Clarke- how spontaneous, yet how fun! I even manage to get a scowl off him as he walks past. YESSS!!

Highlight of the day / month / year: ministerial motorcade approaches - blacked out Jag tailed by a monster Range Rover. Walters to Ayesha and Adam: "Oooh! this could be someone sort of important! Let's have a look..."

All three of us recoil a yard back from the pavement's edge, shreeking as we go.... we clearly see the whispy profile of none other than the Iron Lady, Lady Thatcher herself!!!

In hindsight, we know such an event isn't really that amazing - but it was the spontaneity, shock and delighted surprise which amazed us for the one moment - and I hope you can imagine just what a few, over-excited teenagers aspiring to great heights, thought when they saw such a national insitution as 'Mother' herself! I'm no Thatcherite, but my gosh did the moment take us over.

N